In the early stages of coming into ownership of our lives and choices, we can’t avoid clashing with others and ultimately, we shouldn’t try, not in the early stages of the Work. The rifts in relationships that are caused from the disagreement and our reactions to the disagreement show us where the weaknesses are in the fabric of our relationships, aka our own not whole parts, and where the work has to happen. So while I don’t condone picking fights just to pick fights, we do need to realize that they can be accelerants along the path to full ownership. We are able to see, through conflict, faster than we could in the avoidance of conflict, where we need to look to own and repair.
Eventually, thanks to these ongoing mending attempts, that fabric becomes so strong it can’t be torn anymore. And that fabric is the authentic connection to ones self and authentic connection between two people. It is the result of two whole people committing to meeting in their wholeness, with the understanding that life is an ever evolving series of experiences and so the work NEVER ends.
But if one keeps doing everything in their power to avoid causing the rifts because they have no faith that the other person is going to do the work involved, or if they themselves don’t want to, both partiras are simply postponing the inevitable.

We can’t save ourselves from the pain. Eventually it’s going to shove itself in our faces and force us to face it head on. Better to learn to ride it to our advantage to further ourselves along the path that will lead with our ultimate goal – connection.