Free Flow

As I wait for my painfully slow dryer to remove the remaining dampness from the clothing I want to wear to work today, I am thinking about BREASTS.

This summer I made the decision to become more comfortable with the nature of my breasts, and release myself from the conditioning that requires them to be bound and constrained in order not to offend. But not just to not offend – also to please.

What is more pleasing to ME than to be free of a piece of body armour that changes the shape of my body and causes me discomfort? And why does anyone else’s concern about my breasts matter?

At home and at work my free breathing breasts barely register on my radar when I interact with my people. But when I go out in the world and am visible (or more likely invisible) to strangers, my monkey mind chatters at me that these beautiful body parts are too low or too jiggly or calling too much attention. I become mired in self consciousness. I disconnect from my myself to defend and react.

After 30+ years of bra wearing, the feeling of weightlessness in my shoulders is exquisite. My rib cage isn’t in a constant vise and my solar plexus isn’t constricted. I can breathe. I can ripple. I can jiggle. My lymph and blood can circulate. My nipples can respond to temperature changes freely.

I’m no longer in my 20s. My breasts have served in a way that I understand is deep privilege and I am greatful to them. My body is a well oiled machine. I’ve learned to listen to its cues. I can no longer tolerate waistbands that squish my kishkes, or compressed flesh. My skin itches to be free from constraints, physical and psychological. I want to cocreate with my body, from a place of harmony. Without this peace in my body, I can’t somatically assess my situation and hear the signaling of my gut that reminds me to trust my intuition. I can’t return to the place between my ribs where #equanimity is accessible. Without freedom in my body I am only serving my own discomfort, and not my connection with the Greater Good.

My breasts are not assessable in this photo. This is not a post that will get the most likes because they are not on display. But this is exactly the point.

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