Hishtavut, Revisited

An oldie, but still me. 

It’s been an astonishing realization as of late that instead of moving with the chaos into more chaos of my own I am instead connecting more and more deeply with a neutral experience of myself and the world. This is the state that we know as equanimity. 

Sometime mid last year, when things were well into not making any sense, I felt this inner stillness for the first time. 

It was revelatory. And so I tattooed the Hebrew word, hishtavut, onto my body, as I do with concepts that I want to deepen into and integrate. 

We have been mistakenly led to believe that we should feel good all the time. What we should aim to feel is well, and wellness does not have a value judgement attached to it. Well simply is, without judgement, and the goal is to continue to return to it by moving out of judgement, either negative or positive, into the neutral truth of it. 

Notice. Notice where you are judging when you could be neutral. Notice how you’re told to be x, y, or z when neutrality is what is called for. 

Good and bad are hyperbole, and living in a hyperbolic space, seeking constant dopamine hits to keep us in judgement of ourselves and others will make us sick. 

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